HUM 2 Balloon Dog Presentation

Characters:

DJ- wife
Toffer- host and narrator
Christian- husband
Mark- hotdog vendor
Randall- friend of Christian
Roger- flashback cards and sound operator

Props: 

flashback cards
bottle of beer
black curtain

Toffer: Ladies and gentlemen, our guest for today, DJ!!!

Music: Who Let the Dogs Out?

DJ: Oh, thank you. 

Toffer: People say you are in love. Can you describe to us your knight in shining armor?

DJ: He is sweet and faithful. 

Toffer: Then who it is?

DJ: My dog.

Toffer: Your dog? Oh, what's his name?

DJ: Stay.

Toffer: Stay? Why?

DJ: I named him Stay so I can say, "Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay."

Toffer: Oh that's sweet. Now, can you tell us how? How does Stay express his sweetness for you?

DJ: He has told me a thousand times that I am his reason for being, by the way he licks me, by the way he fetch a tennis ball for me, by the way he wags his tail, by the way he greets me, by the way he warms me up. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. Who may even know that his saliva can mend a broken heart?

Toffer: Then when did it start?

FLASHBACK CARD: Three Months Ago...

DJ: Do you know what date it is?

Christian: Yes I know, December 21.

DJ: I mean do you what's special with this date?

Christian: December 21. December 21 is.... I know it!

DJ: Really? Yes, the supposed to be end of the world.

DJ: Oh yes, I guess you're right.

Christian: Well darling, can I borrow at least 500 pesos. My friends and I just have a small get-together. 

DJ: Oh ok. 

Christian: Breakfast ready? My shirt ready?

DJ: Yes of course.

FLASHBACK CARD: 30 minutes later

Christian: Ok, I have to leave now. 

DJ: It is not me who found him. It is him who found me. At a train station, a man with a basket of dogs did not notice that one of his dogs jumped out of the basket. And there he is.

FLASHBACK CARD: Hours Later

DJ: How unbelievable! Night has passed but he does not even remember that today is our anniversary. I better go to my amiga.

Toffer: Wait a minute, I do not get it. Where did you find him?

DJ: Actually, it is not me who found him. It is him who found me. The time that I left to visit my amiga who is near a train station... We looked at each other and knew that I found companion and he found home.

Mark: Is this your dog? 

DJ: Ummm, yes? Why?
Mark: Your dog ate my hotdog and he's been flirting with my dog here! You better pay me or else, your dog will replace my hotdog.

DJ: Oh sorry. Here. Take it. Hi, little one. Come on, let us go home.

Toffer: Then what happened? 

Christian: You do not have time for me anymore. All you did is to feed that dog like our own kid.

DJ: We do not have kids! You're busy with your freaking job and hanging out with your friends. It is you who never had the time for me. He is my best friend here.

Christian: Best friend? He cannot talk.

DJ: Yes he does not talk but he does not need to talk to tell me that he loves me.

Christian: But I love you. I love you more than how that dog loves you.

DJ: But a dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. 

Christian: Are you telling me that I just love myself?

DJ: Yes! He licks my hand even if my hand does not have some food to offer. But you, you are using me.

Christian: Then, what do you want me to do? Lick your hand too? And he's boring.

DJ: No, he's not. He is my link to paradise. He does not know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a him on the afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace.

Christian: But it is me who gives you this feeling of... heaven.

DJ: Then I would rather go to his heaven not yours.

Christian: No, dogs do not go to heaven.

DJ: If I have any beliefs about heaven, it is that Stay with some others dogs will go to heaven with very very few persons. You think those dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you they will be there long before any of us. If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

Christian: Then go to hell. 

DJ: Go to hell? Why not? At least according to the Greek mythology, there is a three-headed dog named Cerberus waiting for me there not a hard-headed husband who leaves me here.

Christian: Oh really? Then I think this conversation is pointless.

DJ: The better and the more I meet and know men, the more I love Stay. I once decided not to date a guy because he was not excited to meet Stay. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.

Toffer: Oh my God! That was tough. It is like your life revolves around a dog.

DJ: From time to time, people tell me, "That's a lot of money for just a dog." Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog." So whenever I hear the phrase "just a dog," I just smile because they just do not understand. He is not my whole life but he makes my life whole. And now, I saved another one, another dog that I saved from that hotdog vendor. 

Toffer: Oh so touching. And yes, just look how God loves dogs. He had his name spelled backward to the man's best friend. I do not know the reason why. Oh, here's my sweetie. 

EPILOGUE:

Christian: It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips but she does not even drink from my glass. 

Randall: Oh well, who says that a dog is just a man's best friend?

Christian: What do you mean?

Randall: My wife just adopted one dog and they are inseparable. He's here. Hi Randall. He named it after me. Yes, I am his dog.

Toffer: And so being a broken-hearted man, Christian killed himself.

Christian: Ah, who's digging on my grave? Is that you, my beloved wife? 

Voice: No, she's in a party.

Christian: My best friend? 

Voice: No, he is out there busy.

Christian: Then who?

Voice: Sir, it is I, a poor dog, the son of your wife's dog.

Christian: Wannabe my friend?

Voice: No Sir, I just wanna bury a bone in case I need it. I am sorry but I quite forgot that it was your resting place.